#163: “Four Queues, Two Kings and a Gorilla called Muki”

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A fantastic few days taking in the sites and nightlife of Barcelona with my flatmate Eilis were followed up with two utterly rubbish and frustrating days as yet again, the Grand Casino Barcelona and its staff demonstrated their incompetence when it comes to hosting a Poker Series and I demonstrated my inability to win a pot with pocket Kings.

Three years ago, this casino was the location of my biggest win in poker when I chopped a Full Tilt Espana Series event. Back then, poker was new in Spain and the tournament only got 200 runners. These players were split across two start days, making for an administrative piece of cake. Cut to this time last year and the Unibet Open rolled into town, drawing a field of 300 for its €1500 event. While the main event itself was run well, the side events and cash games were a mess.  Poker had been moved to the old ‘Highrollers’ area where you could barely fit 25 tables so a system of alternates was employed for the tourneys as was a lengthy waiting list for anybody not playing nosebleed cash stakes.

Yesterday evening, Eilis and I left Barcelona’s Zoo and made our way to the casino for my 7pm satellite tourney. The highlight of the day was my first pygmy hippo and It seemed like the lowlight would be Muki, the male gorilla who defecated into his hands before smearing the contents of his bowels all over his own face. That was before an altogether more repulsive animal in the shape of a charmless casino employee in his very own cage waved his hands in my face and barked at me that the tournament was “full and finished”.

Admittedly, it was 7.15pm but I had spent ten minutes in the queue. My friend Laurynas arrived at 6.45pm for the same tourney and he was made to wait as alternate #27. I decided to put my name down for the €2/€4 cash game and was #32 on the list. We went for a coffee in the casino and after waiting for over an hour, he was told he would not get a seat before the cut-off time and I had only advanced six spots to #26. Needless to say, we left the casino, preferring to spend the remainder of the night eating tapas and drinking cervezas.

Today, I woke up early so that I could get to the casino for 11am – an hour before the scheduled start and the earliest time for registration. Getting off the Metro one stop early meant that I arrived at 11.15 at which point I got into a queue that it turned out would get me into a queue for another queue. Three queues and 100 minutes later and I discovered that I had no seat assignment. The good news was the tournament was being held in the large function room of the adjoining hotel (so ample space) but the bad news was there was a queue there too, this one to submit our signed waivers and get our table draw. When I finally took my seat, I had missed almost a full level.

I immediately got busy with my chips and by the first break had worked my way to 21K from a 15K starting stack. Disaster instantly followed though as we played the first hand after the break 3-handed. I looked down at AKo and raised. A laggy Lithuanian snap 3bet and realising he had under 60bbs, I decided to 4bet induce. He took the bait and I snapped. He held A10o which he claimed made this a cooler for him. An ugly 10ball in the window held to the river and I was pretty much cut in half.

Not long later, the table broke and I was re-seated at the other end of the room. The problem, however, was there was no seat where I was meant to go. After checking I was in the right place, the floor were called, a discussion between several TDs ensued, all the while I’m standing over my supposed table like a fool. One of the friendly English TDs cracked a joke with me about ‘the Irish having to stand’ and I just looked at him with a dead wide-eyed expression. Realising I was in no mood for banter, he dropped the smiley-face and apologised before rushing to the other side of the room for a chair. He’s a really nice bloke who I know from the UKIPT circuit and ordinarily I would see the funny side but between the four queues, the missing a level and the bad beat, I was pretty tilted. This level of mis-management reflects very poorly on Pokerstars and the Estrellas Tour and it bodes very badly for the upcoming EPT when they will be running up to 7 tournaments a day.

I eventually sat down and got back to grinding, winning half a dozen pots in a little over an hour to get myself up to 22K. I was feeling good again but alas that sensation would be short-lived. A few minutes before the second break, UTG+1 opened to 525 and was flatted in Mid-position. I looked down at Kings in the small blind and realising mine was the effective stack versus two deep opponents, I made it 2075. They both called. The flop came 779cc and I bet out a chunky 4400. UTG+1 called and the other guy folded. Being more worried about the flatter’s range on this board, I thought I was going to get paid by the majority of the villains EP raise-calling range (hands like 1010-QQ and maybe even a stubborn 88 or 910/98). My plan was to massage the pot on any non-club 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, Q or K (I held the K of clubs), bomb any 6, 8, 10 ,J or club and check-call any Ace. The turn came a non-club 8 and I shoved, was snapped and shown 67o. No miracle and I was eliminated for the fifth time in six consecutive live tournaments with pocket Kings.

To say I’m disappointed would be an understatement but life could be a lot worse. I am in beautiful Barcelona for five more days, the food is incredible, my hotel has a rooftop swimming pool and I will definitely play side events on Friday and Saturday. All in all, that’s a good deal better than being held captive in a small cage eating my own filth.