#223: “Eye-Balled By Tyson”

I have never be known for my diplomacy nor decorum. I have also been blessed with a thespian’s booming ‘to the back of the room’ speaking voice. It is easy to imagine then how these qualities, in combination, have gotten me into hot water at times. There were fights with teachers at school and fights with bosses at work. These days, there’s fights with people at the poker table. Although I would say I have mellowed considerably in my 30s. That, and the fact that at every live tournament for the first 6 months of me being back in Ireland, I would chat with Dara O’Kearney at the first break and he would implore me not to piss off seat 7 because seat 7 was… well let’s just say he was an artist of sorts, whose back catalogue included work on the human body that found inspiration in both the Mannerist and Cubist oeuvres.

There was, however, one particular occasion which stands out, one moment when my loud voice and lack of discretion put me right in the firing line with one of the most dangerous men in the entire world. The formality of the occasion probably saved me from grievous bodily harm but nine years ago, I got eye-balled by none other than former World Heavyweight Champion Mike Tyson.

It was Spring 2005 and the west coast premiere of ‘Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ was taking place in a movie theatre in LA. I was in attendance with my Dad but he was doing a speech so I took my seat next to some of the Paramount Executives to whom I’d been introduced a few days earlier. It was a star-studded affair – Hollywood A-listers, supermodels, famous musicians from past and present, playboy bunnies, WWF wrestlers and sports stars. One of the Execs turned to me:

“What’s the name of that boxer, you know, the one who bit that guy’s ear?”, she whispered.

“Mike Tyson”, I replied.

“God, that’s an awful way to describe somebody”, she said almost apologetically.

Unbeknownst to me, Mike Tyson was taking his seat right behind us.

“Well you could have said ‘what’s the name of that boxer, you know, the one who’s a convicted rapist?’.”

Her eyes widened and her expression froze as she looked over my right shoulder. I hesitated, a feeling of pure dread washing over me before I sheepishly turned around.