#227: “Marriage Equality & Seven Random Facts You Might Not Know About Me”

Five years after same-sex couples were first given the right to a civil partnership in Ireland, a referendum will finally be held this May to extend full equality in relationships. If the proposal is passed it will be the 34th amendment to the Constitution and it is vital that it does so because civil partners are denied a range of legal benefits available to married couples. In particular, civil partners bringing up children are faced with several obstacles which undermine a stable family life. Civil partners in Irish law are not even recognised as sharing ‘a family home’.

Equality should be not be ambiguous. Same sex couples should not have to settle for civil partnership while the full equality of civil marriage, with its rights and responsibilities, is denied to them. To raise awareness of this referendum, the ‘YES’ campaign have launched a fun nomination-based chain-mail called ‘Seven Random Facts You Might Not Know About Me’. So here goes:

1
When I was born, I had trouble breathing due to fluid on my lungs so I was put in an incubator for the first few days of my life. Throughout my adolescence, my parents needed little excuse to tell this story to strangers, always pointing out the fact that incubators are designed for premature babies and that since I was anything but (2 weeks late and almost 10lbs), they could easily pick me out through the glass because my fat arse was sticking out of the machine.

2
As a child, I kept the fact that I had severe allergies to our dog Toby a secret because I genuinely wondered, if push came to shove, who my mother would get rid of.

3
I have an irrational fear of needles which I think stems from when I had a lumber puncture as a child. The only time in my life when I fainted was after having blood taken and I was mortified. I even turn away at the sight of injections on TV. I also have a very rational fear of both rats and wasps. After all, diseases carried by rodents and buzzing insects have been responsible for the deaths of approximately three-quarters of all the humans that have ever lived.

4
When I was 16, I came out to my Mom as heterosexual. It had been her lifelong dream to mother a gay son so it was not an easy conversation and to this day, I think she still struggles to accept my sexuality.

5
People assume that I don’t censor myself much but the truth is I actually censor myself a lot and, if I didn’t, I probably would have been beaten up, sued, maimed or murdered by now.

6
When I tell people I have just met that I play poker for a living, I normally get one of three responses:
1 – “Yeah sure, you probably only tell people about your wins. Nobody wins at gambling.”
2 – “Oh my God, that is the coolest thing ever. It must be so glamorous.”
3 – “A relative of mine has a gambling problem. People like you disgust me. I have no respect for people who contribute nothing to the world and prey on the stupid, drunk and/or chronically addicted.”
As best I can, I always try to explain how the first and second points of view are wrong. My biggest concern in life is that the third point of view is right.

7
Before I leave Saron’s apartment on the mornings when she is in work, I go into her room and choreograph an orgy with her stuffed toys until I am happy with a particularly lurid arrangement which I then leave for her to find. Frankly, I am not sure what this says about me.

Share this with or nominate your friends on Facebook and spread the word. If you’re in Ireland, you can text the word LOVE to 50300 and give €4 to the campaign for equal marriage. Rosa Parks wasn’t satisfied with simply being allowed on the bus. So, too, should same sex couples be able to sit wherever they like.