#249: “Coke Wars”

About six years ago, I attended my first Unibet Open in Barcelona. I didn’t know it at the time but this trip would be the beginning of a new chapter in my poker career. I had played live before but only sporadically. I wasn’t unhappy as a button-clicker, quite the contrary, but this trip opened my eyes to the possibility of balance between the two facets of the game that I love. I had a brilliant time but I do remember the journey getting off to an inauspicious start…

Walking through the departure lounge in Dublin Airport, a thirst came over me and I stopped to get a coke from the vending machine. I twisted open the bottle, took a slug, closed it and, with a bag on my shoulder and another wheeling behind me, made my way to my boarding gate and an area with plastic chairs. It was busy but I found a seat. I put down the coke, took the bag from my shoulders, took off my jacket, did a stretch and looked around for a screen displaying my flight status. Ten minutes until boarding. Plenty of time.

I took my seat and pulled out my phone, scrolling through Twitter or Facebook or something. The man in the seat next to me leaned forward and picked up my coke. I assumed it had fallen over and he was picking it up for me. I smiled. He didn’t smile back. It was a weird interaction. To make matters weirder, he opened the coke and took a few slugs. I stared at him and he stared back. I remember thinking ‘Who the fuck does this guy think he is, drinking my coke’. His eyes widened aggressively and I remember thinking ‘Wow, and now he’s gonna square up to me!’

He put the coke back down on the ground. I shook my head. ‘Fuck this’, I thought, and I picked up the bottle, opened it and took a swig. He stared at me angrily. I stared back at him incredulously. I put the bottle down and he immediately grabbed it, opened it and drank deep from it, multiple glugs. There was only a few mouthfuls left. He screwed back on the cap and burped. Then he slammed the bottle back down on the ground. ‘The fucking cheek of him’, I thought.

It’s important at this point in the story to remind you that this was 2011, the absolute peak of poker’s ‘click-wars’ and I was familiar with this spot. Sure, I might have 3bet without a plan but let’s just say that there was no way, in this spot, that I wasn’t going to 5bet shove. “It might only be a coke’, I thought, ‘but fuck him’. I reached for the bottle. He eye-balled me. Eyeballing him back, I opened the bottle and unscrewed it and gulp, gulp, gulped until it was gone. He snarled at me. ‘That’s right fuckhead – ALL-IN!’, I thought, and I exhaled at him in disgust.

And then we sat there, silently, for five long minutes, occasionally throwing the other a withering, trenchant glare.

“Flight EI1234 to Barcelona is boarding now at Gate 21″, rang out over the Tannoy and, with that, he stood up. ‘Makes sense’, I thought, ‘A guy who steals another guy’s coke is bound to be one of those assholes who likes to be first onto the plane’. Bilious with rage, I sat and waited for the queue to abate, muttering expletives to myself.

“Final call for flight EI1234 to Barcelona is boarding now at Gate 21″. I stood up and put on my jacket. I picked up my shoulder bag, threw it over my shoulder and immediately, my heart sank. There it was – an almost full coke bottle sitting on the ground by my feet, my almost full coke bottle sitting right where I had apparently left it.

Flash forward to today and I am packing my suitcase for a trip to my umpteenth Unibet Open. It’s going to be a big one – maybe their biggest yet – and for me personally, it’s going to be the coolest. Why? Well despite that story and the innumerable blunders, bungles, goofs, gaffes, mishaps and misadventures, most of which I have catalogued in over eight years worth of poker blogs, the good people at Unibet have decided that I would make a suitable ambassador for their venerable brand. ‘Are they crazy?’, I hear you say. Maybe. When they first mentioned it to me, I immediately said yes because, having grown up in the 90s, I thought that ambassadors just handed out ‘delizioso’ Ferrero Rochers at posh dinner parties and I have experience as a waiter. It was only later that I googled ‘Brand Ambassador’ and found out that there’s a lot more to it!

Joking aside, I am very humbled. Unibet Poker and their team have been making huge leaps this past year on both the live and virtual felt. They are player-oriented in their focus, a quality that is becoming rarer and rarer in today’s quickly changing poker landscape. I believe that with this ethos, there is a real opportunity to expand and I hope that I can contribute to their growth and success. I have always tried to be a positive spokesperson for the players so it’s going to be a case of focussing on that whilst suppressing my natural tendencies towards gobshitery.

First up in London is what has been dubbed ‘The Ambassador’s SNG’. The event will be live-streamed from 7pm GMT on Unibet’s Twitch Channel on Wednesday the 22nd of February and I’m anticipating a fascinating encounter. The good news for me is I’ve probably played more SNGs than all of the other ambassadors put together. The bad news is that in a line-up that includes Viktor Blom, Dara O’Kearney, Ian Simpson, Dan Murariu and Espen Uhlen Jørstad, I’m kidding myself if I think that fact gives me an edge.