#156: “Bulgarian Shapes & The Irish Ed Norton”

Bulgarian poker players seem to have three distinct shapes.

You’ve got your 30-something Vin Diesel-type with his roid-rage and ripped tattooed muscles barely contained within his tiny under-sized t-shirt, his shaven head boasting an array of bumps and lumps like he had been dropped as a child, liked it and has since dedicated his adult life to the pursuit of visible head trauma. These guys are as intimidating as Hell so it’s good that they tend to be the first group eliminated.

Then, you’ve got your 50-something extra from ‘The Sopranos’-type with his cheap gaudy bling, ample belly, receding hair line and matching tracksuit top and bottoms. This guy is good at reading people but terrible at the maths. Having made one or two correct hero-calls in the early levels, he gets carried away later on with a draw, calling it off for the wrong price.

Then, you’ve got your 20-something ‘Bleats by Dr. Drew’ (everything here is a knock-off) wearing, Pat Sharpe mullet-homaging, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome suffering Internet-Kid. This lad is aggressive and would be a good LAG if he didn’t also have ADHD. There is only so much playing with his i-Pad/i-Phone that he can do before his poor concentration costs him and he spews off his stack with an ill-timed move.

Yesterday, I played Day 1A of the Eureka Main Event in the International Grand Casino in Golden Sands. Two-thirds of the 250 player field were Bulgarian and regardless of shape, I did not fair well against any of them. I played great all day, took a couple of bad beats and ultimately suffered two big coolers to be eliminated in the last level of the day. That makes me 0 for 6 in tournaments and about even in cash games, a disappointing string of results to say the least. Yesterday, Nick Wright’s PokerStars Blog called me the Irish Ed Norton, a reference I assume to my physical appearance and reluctance to embrace the celebrity lifestyle and not the suggestion that I like to stack the deck and did all my best work a long time ago. I’m playing the €400 PLO tonight and the €300 side event tomorrow. I hope these will be the start of the uptick.